1. So you like jogging? This is that question that every runner cringes at. Jogging, don’t ask us if we jog! As far as many of us are concerned, that is a dirty word. I will not dignify this question with an answer…..like I jog!
2. Why do you pay so much to run a race? Now this is a good question, I tend to work all of my race fees out in miles, unless its a race I am running for a more sentimental reason. Anyway, here is what goes on in my head. $150 for a 100 mile race is a steal, right? That is $1.50 per mile. On the other hand, a half marathon for $100..that is NOT a bargain! Don’t RD’s do their price per mile math?
3. Did you win…hmm…well, usually no…but on occasion…so technically this is a valid question.
4. But don’t you get bored? NO. Don’t you get bored sitting in a cube all day? Don’t you get bored commuting to work? Don’t you get bored watching tv? Those are more appropriate questions, I am too busy feeling alive to be bored.
5. How far is your marathon? (Please look up the definition of marathon.)
6. Cross train? What is a cross train? Ok, legit question, cross training is something one does to stay fit in other ways. Sometimes its something an athlete does in their off season (whats an off season?) Sometimes its all an athlete can do when they are injured. Swimming, biking, yoga, (crying?)
7. How do you hurt yourself running? Um, well..people can hurt themselves doing just about anything. I think the more important question is how can you stay unhurt while running!!
8./9. What about your knees? Oh this is my all time most annoying question..can you agree with me runners?! My knees? My knees are fine! My leg muscles are strong and they support my knees. I think my knees are the only things that don’t hurt. I may be the only one in my family whose knees don’t hurt (and I’m also the only runner in my family…well that’s interesting, isn’t it?!) What about all those non runners that get knee surgery all the time? hmmm? Perhaps they ran once and hurt their knees..huh?
10. Isn’t it unhealthy to run so much? Yes, and my uterus fell out also. Everything in moderation, as if I could achieve moderation.
11. Is running safe at your age? I have to say I have never had to answer this question. Mostly because due to my running I look 10 years younger than my actual age….thank you running.
12. What are you doing? Clearly I am being chased, I was just lucky enough to be wearing shorts, running shoes, a running bra and this convenient hydration pack.
13. Do you need a ride? This one is great, especially when running in the rain. (see above answer)
14. Don’t you get lost? Well, no actually, not if I am prepared and follow the trail blazes. As a matter of fact, I lived in Baltimore for 7 years, and during that time I would get stopped constantly by drivers asking for directions to so and so’s house. (Sorry I don’t know where your friend lives.) Hello? You are in a car, you can easily carry a map, oh..and there is this GPS thing you can get now, oh ya, and a phone! So there, the runner directing the driver…is that like the student becoming the master?
15. You mean you have fun running? This one gets me, every time. Obviously I do, I run 100 miles…I wouldn’t do that if I didn’t find it fun, would I? I often want to respond with, “you mean staying up till the early morning, drinking until your liver hurts, waking up in a fog hungover, is what you call a fun party?”
16. Why would you need so many running shoes? This is always my husband’s question…shall I answer? Well that one is for trail, those are for races with trail and road, those are just for road, those are my track shoes, those I won race x in, those are for really muddy races, I ran my first 100 in those (can’t you see that I wrote Pinhoti 22:50 in sharpie on the sides of those?!)those are a bit worn, but I can still hike in them…don’t touch those, they don’t make them anymore!
17. Do you really need another pair of running shoes? Did you not read the above question?! YES.
18. You’re going to run in the rain? Yes, and referring back to #13 No, I do NOT need a ride!
19. Isn’t it too windy to run? Bring it on! Just another challenge! I mock you wind!
20. Isn’t it too cold? I didn’t make the weather, I just run in it.
21. Isn’t it too hot? Ahh its never too hot! Bring it on!
22. Wait, you run outside? Where else would one run? Oh, the hamster wheel…that is just a tool to use when I need a mountain to climb, and its so flat I can see for miles around.
23. Don’t you get tired? We are all human, and humans get tired, how is this question relevant? Oh, because you think I am a SUPER human! :) Sorry to disappoint you, yes, I am human, I get tired too.
24. Wouldn’t you rather sleep in? That’s what off days and tapers are for!
25. Are you fast? Well….I don’t like to brag….but if you are asking me these questions, then as far as you are concerned I’m freaking Meb. Oh, you don’t know who that is…?
And I had to add this one last one in.
26. 100 miles!? I don’t even like to drive that far! Funny you should say that, I don’t either, its so boring sitting in a car for that long…but I do like to run that far!
Run on friends!